The Courage to Speak Kind Words/Everyone is a Mirror for Your Own Internal Work.

October 17, 2017

 

Being kind can take on many forms, whether you are with the person or not (doing something on their behalf without their presence) and nonverbal kindness or verbal kindness. I think many of us prefer non-verbal kindness and “behind the scenes” kindness because it is less intimate than words pouring straight from your heart directly in front of the other person's very face/eyes/ears and all.

 

In particular, I would love to focus on communicating kind speech directly to the person in front of you. From one human being to another. It is so heart-opening to out loud express affirmation on someone else’s character. In fact, it is a bit exhilarating. Opening up your heart so point blank feels very vulnerable. That’s why I think it takes courage. Know that sometimes, actually most of the time, its not about you and throwing yourself out on a wild limb in the chance that you may spark someone’s inner light is well worth the vulnerable risk. For the receiver, it is very encouraging and empowering--even inspiring--to hear someone else (especially a stranger) say basically a big YES! GOOD WORK to You and who you are.

 

We all need to HEAR kind words more than ever right now. Think about how much ear pollution is circulating with low vibe energy. Let's clean up the global sound frequency. 

Get out of your head and be present with the other humans weaving in and out of your day whether they’re a familiar face or strangers passing by. Affirm the positive in them. You could tell this human you like something they’re wearing (if it’s authentic) or you could full-heartedly ask them how their day is going and really mean it. Maybe even be open to giving them advice if they share something personal with you--that's them opening up to you; Shit, it could just be how they skateboarded for 8 hours the day before and they're happily exhausted at their morning shift. You could straight up tell someone you’re a cool human being. Do it. I dare you. The other day at Central Market grocery the guy roasting my cup of coffee had the most melodic peaceful voice ever. I told him whatever he was doing (turns out it is deep water breath holding meditation?!) to keep doing it because his deeply peaceful presence is a gift to anyone that communes with him.

 

It can be easy to be on auto pilot critique mode. Because many humans have crictical inner self-dialogue, they see the world and others with the very same critical nature. If you find yourself criticizing others alot, a good place to start is to work on loving yourself more and really look into what ignites your criticism with others and how that could tie to you or a negative self pattern you keep perpetuating. Ask yourself, why am i being unnecessarily tough and mean on myself? Where do I think I am not good enough? If you find yourself feeling negative toward someone try “letting go” of the judgment first. What I mean is first acknowledge you are being critical and then in your head say I let go of criticsm for person's name. Then, really relax into the moment and see this human with eyes of the purest love you muster up in that moment; remember this individual is on a human journey just like you. If criticism snuck up on you, have compassion with yourself for the "fall" and let your self-compassion transform into compassion for the human being you just criticized. None of us are perfect. Were all beautifully strugglin together folks. It is okay to fall off the becoming a better person wagon. Love yourself for trying and get back on that magic bus ride. 

 

On a deeper spiritual note, I actually believe everyone in our lives provides a mirror of the internal work we have a loving responsibility to sift through. If someone is making you upset, what unresolved turmoil or inner conflict is it that their really bringing out in you?  If you’re criticizing someone, what is that you really need to honestly face with yourself that maybe has gone ignored or suppressed for far too long? When I find myself having resistance with someone, I no longer externalize the “issue” and put it on them. I know it is really something going on with me. I lovingly take responsibility for it. There’s always a juicy lesson. Open your eyes first and then open your heart. Cheers :) 

 

 

 

 

 

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