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Inner-Beauty: How to Let Go of the Inner-Critic & Grow Your Inner-Garden

What is true beauty?

You might feel stumped struggling to come up with an immediate answer. You might feel self-doubt, fear, or self-criticism immediately come up for you even hearing this question posed.

Many women struggle in knowing how to define beauty for ourselves because we let society, negative self-patterns, and media hand us a very limited shallow definition of what true beauty looks like. True beauty is much more than what we look like. It is about what we feel li

ke from within; It is inner beauty that produces the glow from within radiating out positive highly attractive energy. When are inner glow is lit, we are naturally happy and in harmony with our body-mind-spirit, so our physical appearance is received with enthusiasm and we are often more likely to look “healthy”. If there is one thing I can get across to you, it is to reclaim your definition of what true beauty means to you, rather than wallowing around in self-criticism or unhealthy perfectionist standards you cannot achieve. Even some of the most attractive women miss out on one of the best feelings in the world—loving yourself totally/unconditionally. Yes, I will cut straight to the point. For me, inner beauty is self-love, self-compassion, and self-nourishment. When I practice everyday self-love, I notice there isn’t room for low vibe thought patterns of critique or resentment. If I am taking care of myself with loving kindness, then there is not space for ego to send me off on a low vibe wild rollercoaster.


You must face your “inner-scaries” or inner-critic, your ugliness, your uncomfortable parts, your vulnerability. This part gets messy; It is going to require you to be brave, open, and committed to put in the emotional effort to get clear on your old "outdated" negative thought & behavioral patterns, so you can let them go. This low self-worth or lack of self-esteem is not who you truly are, so stop identifying with your ego. When you stop identifying with your ego, then you no longer feel controlled by it. These are unhealthy patterns your ego developed to survive as you grew from a child to an adult. By the time we become a young adult, we end up with a conditional relationship with ourselves, one that is based on conditional love, self-criticism, and self-doubt. It is our creative responsibility to assume leadership and repair our inner garden/weed/detox/look our darkness, ugliness, in the eye with total compassion and total acceptance. We must take action and detox low energy, examine and let go of negative self critical patterns—that’s ego—and let our inner light shine in its total brilliance. And nurture ourselves on the regular.

Once you let go of self-limiting patterns, you can see your “ugliness” with compassion and as beautiful depth that lends you the new transformative energy or wisdom to love yourself. See, that low energy can actually be transmuted into a constructive beautiful gift. You realize the “bad” in you really was just in need of some good ol’ fashioned nurturing. We can clear our weeds so we can plant new seeds of positive loving thoughts. At this point in your journey of self-love, affirmations are incredibly healing and strengthening. “I am enough as I am right in this very moment” “I am full of love and positive energy”. Get creative and create your own affirmation. Anything you’re struggling with, create an I AM statement with the opposite statement. Put it up on your bathroom mirror. Make it your alarm "label". Once you befriend your ugliness, the inner-darkness will transform into rich inner beauty because your emotions are no longer being neglected like a crying child in need of some love. Let go of your ego. Literally, say "I let go of my ego; I let go of self-criticism." Yes, I know, this could sound nuts. The craziest part is that it actually works.

Once you begin practicing the everyday art of totally accepting yourself, it is easier to be thankful and in a gratitude consciousness. Gratitude then keeps you in a love consciousness where self –criticism cannot breathe. I’m not saying it is easy in the beginning. It’s an every day practice--a way of life. To let go of ego or self-criticism is at the same time choosing to step into your higher self and true genuine natural form. And this is beauty/full.


To give yourself love is one of the most important things you can do in this world. Because this is what keeps your inner-fire lit and radiating out loving kindness to others. Filling up your own cup up so your loving energy can overflow into other's world and to input positive energy into the whole world's consciousness. “We are channels for love from above to be enjoyed by ourselves and given to others”. When you fully love yourself, your vibration is high and you attract lots of supporting and loving energy to you. You are in flow and harmony with yourself, others, and Mother Nature. You start to feel deeper and become more sensitive to your senses like when you were a kid. A kid that did not yet experience hate and low vibration. You were innocent. And the good news is, you can be reborn with fresh eyes, an eager heart to love, and childlike wonder.

As an adult, it is very easy for many of us to fall into the trap of being so intentional with finding our path, tribe of friends, geographical “home”, feeling in our groove or on track that we forget to accept ourselves right here, right Now. On this adventure of self-realization, it can be easy to let external factors to shape our identity by our preferences. But who we are can be realized at any moment. The question goes back to how willing are you to accept your whole self? Because when you do, you realize we are bodies of love--bodies of light. Yes, quite literally, we are bodies of vibrating light particles. It’s just a matter of getting in touch with our internal/eternal love source. I believe it's crucial above everything in life to know where you’re at in your personal journey of love. All good stems from love and all bad stems from an absence of it. Really it comes down to the simple relationship between yourself and the vibration of love.


If you want to love yourself, get to know yourself—your body, your emotions, and your intuition. Explore and learn what brings you joy and what keeps you in harmony with yourself, on your side. Also, explore and identify what gets you out of harmony with yourself so you can release this self-limiting pattern. Learn what your “go-to” self-love or self-care practices are. I like to buy myself flowers every week from Trader Jo’s–super economical. If I had a hard day, I will take a bath to soften up with rose essential oil, peppermint oil, and Epson salt. One of my most favorite self-care practices is "flower gazing" where I literally gaze into a beautiful flower and appreciate its beauty in the purest most natural form. For me, flower gazing then has a mirroring effect on me ing appreciating my own inner beauty in its most natural state. Staying connected to my body by stretching in the morning and evening also keeps me in body-mind-spirit harmony.


What is the energy, intention, and motive behind the type of exercise you do, your diet, or your everyday routine? Remember, it is important to approach your self-care rituals/routine out of loving kindness, respect, and thankfulness for the gift of this human body-mind-spirit and for the opportunity of a life. The diet I come closet to for compassionately nourishing my body and spirit is eating what my body and spirit tell me to or what is also considered “intuitive eating”. Remember, it is important to not fall in the trap of over identifying with the newest hottest diets, exercise routines. Explore health and wellness for yourself from your perspective--not the media or the societal craze of trends. If you are having trouble craving healthy foods, ---we've all been there (unless you were born into some hippie vegan parents)--, your body is probably wanting to detox more from processed foods. Rather than "taking away" processed foods, approach diet with empowering inspiring positive energy of eating more and more vibrant colorful life-enhancing veggies, fruit, legumes, etc. It can be easy to have a disharmonious relationship with the type of exercise you do and sometimes it can take bit to find the right kind of movement for our unique body. Also know that so many variables cause us to need different kinds of movement during different weeks/months/periods of our lives. IE: physical injury, illness, aversion to social community exercise, menstruating, mood imbalance, anxiety etc. You want to choose and engage in a movement or exercise that makes you feel relaxed, energized, open, lighter, happy, free—a movement that gets your energy flowing. If you feel more stressed/more fatigued by your consistent workout, then you might want to add some variety in or try a new foundation all together. Keep the patience and stay tuned in to your inner-voice for direction.


What I mean by “active beauty” is authentic self-expression out in the world or living out your light, your love, your unique energetic signature. Claim your inner genuine goodness and freely and unapologetically radiate your light. It is truly a beautiful rich feeling to experience your own inner-beauty. To take it to the next level, is to share your inner source of Light with the world. Think of active beauty as activities you choose to do that bring you joy. Choosing positive energy and engaging in activities that bring you pure childlike joy will relax your face muscles and lower cortisol in your body; as a result, you will not only be aging in your true self, but also aging into lit-up vibrancy. Know how bout that! Cheers gorgeous.

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